MSI and HP can suck my balls...

Sorry to say that this post will probably induce a lot of TL|DR but you should read it, all of it. It's that damn tragic, retarded and infuriating. You'll laugh, you'll cry and will probably never buy from MSI or HP again. (At least that is my hope.)

This all started on December 17, 2009. And to this day is an on-going pain in the ass that I will never forget.

The issue is simple, at least that is how it seems to me. About a year ago I bought a new HP desktop machine and for the first 6 months I couldn't have been happier with it. Then some time in November I got an email from HP telling me that there was a possible problem with the graphics card in my system. I checked it out and found out that indeed the MSI card I had gotten was more than likely one that was affected by this "recall". At the time I didn't think it was that big of a deal as my card had not been problematic to me despite the likely-hood that it would be. Then one night in December all hell broke loose. I turned the system on and it started to make this terrible racket that sounded like some kid running a stick along a picket fence. I freaked for about ten minutes. Then I remembered the email from HP. Since my system was still in warranty I called them the next day and spoke to this overly nice guy who sounded like he had lived in India his whole life. To this day I can't think of his name, it is but a vague concept in my head, an audible string of vaguely English like sounds that still resonate as Robert but in reality is nothing like Robert. In any case this man we will call Robert for the sake of conversation here told me about the recall site and I found the email with the link and went straight there. I followed the steps and found that my card was eligible for replacement (like no freakin' shit dood!) From there it seem that the problem was to be handed off to MSI, the makers of said faulty card, and they would handle the replacement. Handle it like a ham fisted moron trying to open a small bag of popcorn that is. So I called, not wanting to do the online replacement form, it's sort of fuzzy now so long after but I'm very sure I had my reasons.
Things get a little fuzzier here; either I didn't like the terms, or I was on hold too long or something entirely different (not really important to this part of the story); but the next day Robert called me back and we talked a little. He asked if I was happy with "the service" and I told him that I was not. I complained a little, gave him my information (CT #, MS# and model #, seriously this is important later). So he tried to do all he could to solve my problem, actually he ended up doing more than I asked for. He also called me the next day and then the next day after that too. As it was it was the holiday season and I had a bunch of shit to do so I got sort of annoyed at Robert constantly calling and stopped taking his calls as he didn't seem to be able to do anything for me, in one voice mail he told me he spoke with MSI and got nowhere, and in another one he told me he had filled out the online application for replacement for me. THIS LITTLE KINDNESS HAS CREATED A HUGE PROBLEM FOR ME. On the next day, probably December 23 or thereabouts I took his call and he told me himself that he had filled out the form and the "problem should be solved". That actually couldn't be further from the truth and I knew it from my first contact with MSI, I told him that I appreciated his help and kindly told him to stop calling me or trying to help. What I wanted to tell him at that point was to fuck right off. And now 6 months later I sort of want to strangle the ever-loving shit out of him. At any rate, this is where it gets interesting/tragic.

MSI sends me an empty UPS box as per Robert's misguided attempt to help me. (Seriously, when I heard that HP's customer service was terrible I never expected them to go out of their way to screw me over, but that is exactly what ends up happening.)

Now here is my problem. When I contacted MSI for the replacement they told me that there are two ways this can be done, that is after I told them that their first method was not possible. The First method is the "normal" replacement. And this is wrong on all kinds of levels. Let me explain. What they do is send you an empty box with a shitty guide on how to remove the card, two electrostatic bags, a seal sticker and some foam. Then YOU have to send it back, but not by USPS, you have to get it to a UPS drop box or to some other place that takes UPS pickup. That alone is ignorant. For me personally since I don't use a car and the closest UPS drop is pretty far away from where I am (whether or not it was a reasonable distance it's still a shitty way to do it, assuming everybody has a car or access to close-by UPS drops, FUCKING FAIL!) The other glaring problem with this scheme is that it assumes that you can be without your graphics card for x number of weeks (two by the shortest and "guaranteed estimation" from an MSI call center supervisor). Maybe they didn't know that HP disabled the on-board graphics adapter in order to use the MSI ones. Maybe they just don't give a shit. Yeah that's more like it; "screw you end user, you don't need to play games, type and send resumes, or do any work at all for two or more weeks because that would be too much for us just to do the right thing". For the record I do a lot of free-lance graphics work from home (emphasis on the "free" part but it still a good deal of what I do and also wouldn't be able to do for several weeks under this system.) AGAIN, FUCKING FAIL!
So then we come to "advanced" replacement. Now this one really boggles my mind for several reasons. Firstly, oh sure, they will send you a fresh, new, working card first but in order to do that they want your credit card info so that they can charge you 65 dollars in the event that they a) don't get it, b) it is user damaged, c) not actually eligible for the program or d) probably anything they can dream up. So what if I don't trust these idiots to do the right thing, not misuse my credit card info, or just screw me randomly because some idiot in their testing facility effed up, or the UPS dood dropped my shit in transit or they just friggin' lose it. Then I'm out 65 bucks and there is nothing I can do but say "well at least I have a new card that doesn't sound like a damn plane taking off every time I turn on my computer.
To me this is a matter of principle.
The principle I am defending here is multiple. For one thing why should I have to trust a bunch of dipshits that can't even make a proper graphics card when they don't trust me. (That was one of the reason's I was given for the charge scheme. Like I want to hang onto a faulty graphics card that sounds like some kid put baseball cards in the spokes of his bicycle. Really MSI, what the fuck?) Secondly, it's MSI's fuck up. You made a bad card so just replace the damn things already. Why do you need to suspect and aggravate your customers. MEGA-FAIL. Not only that but as my research has shown this has been a known issue since mid 2007. If I had known that I would not have bought this system. I am looking at you HP, why in the fuck did you continue putting MSI's defective cards in your systems even after it was known that they were junk? Idiots!
So I told them that I had no credit card and could not be without my card for that long. And yes at this point it seems like I should have just bowed down and kissed the feet of the corporate policy wonks and all would be well now. But that is just not who I am. This is an injustice, this is a tragedy, this is total bullshit and I will not stand for it. FWIW, I have video of most of my encounters with MSI and a few choice clips from HP (one in particular that I will post along with this write up).
Fastforward a bit. So I got fed up with the run around and started to get smart. Or at least a little more proactive. I called and called and called. I got several supervisors at MSI's LA office, and even got one of them to send me up to her bosses boss. This lady called me from her own office, and now I have her number. So I tried to reason with this Connie Lo, account executive person who for some reason can't speak decent English to save her ass and is also as stubborn as the worst jackass you'd ever hope to meet. Having exhausted this avenue and yet continuing to call her office every day (Yeah that was a mistake, calling me from your own line, jackass. I sometimes like to call people that have pissed me off and ply my trade as a crank caller), I called HP support again and amazingly was connected to a native English speaker by the name of Chris. Now Chris was a nice guy and listened but really couldn't help me. He did however put me on with his supervisor by the name of Andrea. Andrea, you are a total bitch and I have the tape to prove it. I was cordial and nice and you just launched into this ridiculous corporate wank off mode and then hung up on me. So I called back and ended up talking to this really nice Mexican lady who went by Laurie (sure I guess that could be her real name but I really have my doubts.) Laurie was a lot like Robert, very eager to help but basically ineffectual. Laurie BTW is what is known as a case manager. This is a sub-issue for me, why in the hell does HP need people with the title of case manager, is the customer service so bad that the really squeaky wheels get some special sort of attention that is expert in kindly telling people "tough shit" basically? Well that is how it seems. Laurie talked to Connie and it seems those two through a combination of language barriers and pigheadedness agreed that I was SOL. For the record, by this time my warranty with HP was up, by one freakin' day, ONE GODDAMN DAY PEOPLE! HP washed their collective hands of it and told me in no uncertain terms that this was MSI's baby and not theirs. Well that is why the title of this piece is "MSI and HP can suck my balls..." instead of "MSI can suck my balls..."
See how much both companies suck? I will never, so long as I live, buy anything from them (original purchaser for sure, maybe second hand but never straight from those that have fucked me over so hard.)
And now it gets ever worse. Didn't think that was possible huh? Neither did I.
So, I decided that having a system that worked properly was more important than my pride and principled stance. So I called MSI back about two weeks ago. I told them I now had a credit card and wanted to go ahead with the advanced replacement option. But get this, I CAN'T! And why is that you ask?

BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING RETARD ROBERT FROM THE FIRST CALL!

Since he did the online replacement form FOR ME (and without my consent I might add) MSI send me that infamous empty box and issued an RMA number for my issue. So now that that is in their system they can't undo it and get me an "advance" replacement. Or at least without approval from some doofus somewhere. Seems like something they could have, and should have, mentioned to me when I started this whole process. WHAT A BUNCH OF DIPSHIT, MOFO, COCKSUCKING, ASS-MUNCHERS. I could go on all day but this is already too long.

So, winding down, when I called two weeks ago and asked for the advance I gave the MSI retard all the info he needed and he said that "customer service" would contact me within 48 hours. That never happened (and I had my doubts about that anyway but I figured, new leaf, new page, let's hope for the best.) So I called back and talked to somebody else who told be the same shit after trying several times to get the numbers and letter right (seriously these people must hire any derelict gutter scum for this call center.) I asked if the customer service people would really call and he assured me they would. Two days pass, no call. I call back and get past the floor zombie to a supervisor. And that is when I find out that I am royally screwed because of the RMA number. And the supervisor tells me AGAIN that he will hand it off to customer service. Two days, no call, no nothing. I really hate these fucking people. So I call back again and I yell, I mean I freakin' yell at the poor cubical rat about how goddamn stupid they all are and just tell them right where to stick it. I get a supervisor and proceed to tell him right where to stick it in my most aggressive but rational tone and he proceeds to assure me that he will send it over and mark it as "urgent". It's been two more days and still nothing.

Hell I might as well go buy a new card on eBay and forget about this whole damn thing. But no, I still have a little fight left in me and by dog I will have at least a form of revenge on these bastards. One way or the other. That much I guarantee you dear reader.